Seriously, what exactly is health?
We all know we want it, but what is it?
It’s not merely a lack of illness. I lack illnesses right now (which is corroborated by recent lab work and a physical), but I don’t feel healthy.
A decade ago, in my 30’s, I felt healthy. I could climb mountains, do some very modest rock climbing (which was SO much fun, even if it was nothing that would impress another climber), or decide last minute to go on a bike tour and just ride a bike for 30+ miles a day for a week. I would go to sleep easily and not wake up until morning. I could sleep on the ground with no problem and get up and down from the ground multiple ways without using my hands. It’s always possible to be more fit or improve this or that, but I was feeling pretty good.
In the last 6 years, I have lost a lot of muscle, gained a lot of fat, showed all kinds of signs of metabolic disease, and I can’t just decide to go up a mountain. I definitely would need many months of training to do a biking or hiking tour for a week, and I wake up many times a night. There have been a lot of health things in that time, including orthopedic injuries and surgeries, other illnesses and surgeries (for a total of 6 surgeries between 2020 and 2022), plenty of rounds of antibiotics and a pregnancy followed by a baby who had some difficulties with sleep such that we averaged about 5 hours of sleep per night for 14 months. Plus complete changes in life circumstances from being single with plenty of time to focus on my own health and activities to being married and having a toddler. (The being married and having a toddler part are absolutely awesome, but it doesn’t allow me to just plan a daily hour long workout or two!)
So, now I’m in my mid 40’s with a distinct lack of muscle, and an equally distinct excess of fat. If I wake up with energy, it’s gone by midmorning. I often feel blah and like I’m dragging through the day. I can only sleep on certain mattresses and with an excess of pillows to help alleviate back and neck pain.
I may not be able to give you a concise definition of health, but I can tell you, this isn’t it. I know it doesn’t have to be this way, but I have been trying to dabble in changes for months now with no apparent benefits. The things that worked before are either things I can’t do now or don’t seem to be working.
So, I’m at a loss.
What is health, and how do I get some?